Many people pray from the neck up, making it a mental activity. They offer God praise and thanks. They talk to God about their day. They intercede for others and ask for divine favors. Others might ponder and meditate on scripture or reflect on a belief of the Christian faith. Still others might say rote prayers or even read the prayers written by Saints and holy people of the past.

Though praying in these ways has a long and hallowed tradition, it’s only one side of the coin. Praying from the neck down, from a heavy heart, from the pain in your gut, with legs so weary they can’t move forward, is the other side.

Jesus’ Transparency

Jesus was comfortable with praying from the neck down. It was an aspect of his spirituality—allowing the love, mercy, humanity, and compassion in his heart to rise to the surface and inform his actions. He expressed a wide range of positive and negative emotions to God and to others.

The gospel writers note, among other emotions, that Jesus felt compassion, was indignant, was consumed with zeal, was grieved, loved, was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved, and wept in sorrow. Matthew records him expressing surprise in a prayer of Thanksgiving (Matthew 11: 25-30). In Luke’s gospel, we witness Jesus’ evening anguish and hear his prayer to the Father as he struggled to surrender and accept the cup of suffering (Luke 22: 39-46).

Tell It All to God

Jesus’s example reminds us that feelings need to be experienced and emotions need to be expressed. We gladly pray from the positive feelings and emotions of joy, love, hope, gratitude, and thanksgiving. It’s the negative ones such as shame, anger, loneliness, fear, nervousness, and confession that we treat as intrusions, often trying to skirt them. If we avoid or try to suppress the negative ones, they go underground and wreak havoc on us in unhealthy, passive-aggressive ways: high blood pressure, headaches, muscle tension, ulcers, sleep disorders, binge eating or drinking, uncontrollable fits of anger, apathy, sarcasm, and inappropriate sexual actions.

Transparency is a dimension of Jesus’s spirituality: let what’s in your heart rise to the surface and inform your prayer. Tell God how angry or hurt a friends betrayal made you; how alone and disconnected you are from your family and friends: how frightened or nervous you are about an upcoming examination, how sad and depressed you feel at the loss of a loved one. Being mindful, befriending, and giving voice to such feelings will not only make your prayer authentic and transparent but also provide balm for a bruised and battered soul. I personally find that if I wallow around in some of these negative emotions for a while they dissipate more quickly.

Candor and honesty can be challenging because we judge certain emotions or topics inappropriate to bring before God, especially those feelings of doubt or unbelief. 

Read Your Doubts About Faith aren’t Abnormal

But every emotion, no matter how unseemly we think it might be, contains wisdom and dynamism all its own. Negative feelings are nudges from God. Divine treasures are often found in them if we just pause and ponder them. Their wisdom tells us something about ourselves, and their energy gives us the momentum to express the wisdom in a proper and fitting way. Just look at Jesus on the Mount of Olives: his fear was transformed into the fuel of his fortitude to face his impending death (Luke 22: 39-46).

Conclusion

Overcoming suspicion of some negative emotions is a process that takes time. We might still hesitate and grimace as we go to God with angry hearts, guilty consciences, or sexual desires. However, by becoming mindful of them, acknowledging them, and listening to their wisdom in the divine presence, we discover anew the encouragement they offer to continue on the spiritual path. And sharing your faults with God is a wonderful way to deepen your relationship. Prayer is about honesty and transparency.

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Relevant Scripture

Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, or they may collapse on the way.” (Matthew 15: 32)

When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. (Mark 10: 14)

His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for your house will consume me.” (John 2: 17)

Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” (Matthew 26: 38)

 Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. (John 11: 5)

 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. (John 11: 33)

Reference

Becoming an Ordinary Mystic by Albert Haas, OFM