Q: I have lost two babies during pregnancy and have struggled greatly with that. I have many questions related to the death of my two precious boys.
Here’s one question. Why does God allow a child to be born with birth defects, or to be born so prematurely that death is certain? Is that a part of God’s plan? Or did the fall of Adam cause disease and physical imperfections to run amok, and now the cards fall where they may?
There is a verse somewhere in the New Testament that is well known. Something like “all things work together for the good of those who love Christ.” Could that be why one of my babies had spina bifida and the other was born too early to live? For the good of those who love Christ? How could something so horrible happen to babies, be good for those who love Christ?
I must admit that I struggle with a lot of anger toward God. And I pray about this.
I can’t rationalize that perhaps God took my babies to heaven early so they could avoid some type of miserable existence here on earth, because there are so many living children who are living a nightmare—abused, hungry, neglected, unloved. That must not be why my babies left this world early.
Somewhere in the New Testament Jesus is asked why a man is born blind. He answers that a man is born blind so that God can show His might. The notion that my son may have had birth defects so that God can show His might doesn’t sit well with me either. What kind of a loving God would do that?
Maybe I shouldn’t be angry at all. Maybe I should be glad that my babies are in heaven instead of going through the struggle of living. Life is good—there’s Christmas, and kisses and hugs, kittens and puppies, and all those feel-good things, but there our bad times too.
A: You can be sure that God never will take offense at your anger toward Him. Many things happen in this world that we do not understand, and one of the most difficult issues is the one you have had to face twice in your life. Why did those precious ones have to die?
We don’t have any answers for you. Yes, we do live in a world of sin, disease, and death. No, that was not God’s original plan for us and our world, but the price of our having the freedom of choice as a human race included the possibility of choosing to sin, and with that choice came the awful reality of sins effect on the world.
Yet none of that takes away from God’s incredible love for us. In fact, God’s love for us is even more amazing considering humanity’s rebellion and opposition to Him.
As for the verse in Romans you quoted, yes, that is hard to understand considering your circumstances. All we have to fall back on is that God sees the big picture. He is totally sovereign over the universe, and only He knows all things from beginning to end. He cares for us in every detail, and that means He lives with us through our pain. What is the ultimate good and what you are going through?
We don’t know. But you will know when you stand before Jesus in eternity. Until then, pour out your heart to God as you have been doing. Ask Him for His peace and comfort. Take it one day at a time. And remember that “for the good of those who love Christ” could be a phrase that refers specifically to you, not to other Christians. As hard as it is to imagine, maybe these tragic circumstances will bring you closer to God.
We’re sure you have already been reading the Psalms. There you will find a common bond with David, who experienced much and was not afraid to express his anger and frustration with God. Yet he also praised God and put his trust in Him.
You also asked about the man who was born blind. You asked, “why did Jesus say that the man was blind so that God could show His might?” actually, the context of this passage is this: Jesus came upon a man who had been born blind since birth. The disciples of Jesus wanted to know why the man was born blind. “was it a result of his own sins or of his parents’ sins?” (John 9: 1- 2). “It was not because of his sins or the parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “he was born blind so the power of God could be seen in him” (John 9: 3).
The footnote in the Life Application Study Bible may shed some light on this for you:
“A common belief in Jewish culture was that calamity or suffering was the result of some great sin. But Christ used this man’s suffering to teach about faith and to glorify God. We live in a fallen world where good behavior is not always rewarded, and bad behavior is not always punished. Therefore, innocent people sometimes suffer. If God took suffering away whenever we asked, we would follow Him for comfort and convenience, not out of love and devotion. Regardless of the reasons for our suffering, Jesus has the power to help us deal with it. When you suffer from a disease, tragedy or disability, try not to ask, “why did this happen to me?” or “what did I do wrong?” instead ask God to give you strength for the trial and a clearer perspective on what is happening.”
This is a tough question that many Christians and non-Christians struggle with. You may find additional useful perspectives in the following posts:
Why Doesn’t God Stop Suffering?
Tragedy- Can Anything Good Come Out of It?
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Reference:
Bible Answers 101 by Bickel & Jantz
Spiritual Meditations 