Written by Rev. Dr. Timothy Ehrlich

The Apostle Paul was more than an astute student of human psychology, he was a gifted analyst. His insights into the factors motivating human behavior are paralleled in the work of two of the most famous observers of human psychology – Sigmund Freud and Abraham Maslow! In this article I am going to talk about Paul’s insights into the differences between men and women; and how Paul’s insights into human psychology help explain the re-election of Donald Trump to the US presidency.

I first became aware that Paul had keen insights into human psychology when I began my career as a United Methodist pastor. In seminary I learned about the denominational requirement that Methodist pastors must perform pre-marriage counseling for every wedding they perform; so, I carefully studied everything Paul wrote about marriage and male/female relationships. I quickly realized that Paul’s insights into human relations would be very beneficial to share with couples to help them understand each other better and to have a happier relationship than they might have had otherwise.

Apostle Paul’s Insights into the Minds of Couples

In his letter to the Ephesians Paul’s advice to married couples reveals his insights:

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25-26, 28, 33 (NLT) And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ²² For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord…²⁵ For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ²⁶ to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word… ²⁸ In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. ³³ So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Unfortunately, some who read this passage wrongly interpret it to mean that men should be the bosses of their wives; but two key verses show this interpretation to be mistaken. In verse 21 Paul tells people in a marital relationship that they should submit to one another. That clearly means no one is the boss. In verse 33 he tells men and women what “submitting to one another” looks like: for men submission means they should love their wives as much as they love themselves. For women Paul summarizes that they should respect their husbands. The King James version puts it even more strongly, instead of respect it says the wife should have reverence for her husband.  

Before my readers scoff at the King James reverence interpretation, it is worth noting that Paul’s differing requirements for men (love her as you love yourself) and women (respect even revere him) reflect his awareness of contrasting biologically influenced behavior in men and women. Understanding these gender differences is really helpful for relationship communications.

How Male and Female Brains Differ

The differences in male and female communication are of course the subject of many comedy routines, but they truly have their origins in human anatomy. Male brains and female brains are physically wired differently. For both men and women, the left half (or hemisphere as psychologist refer to it) of the brain controls the right half of the body, and it is the side where speech and logical analysis reside. The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body, and it is where our mental images are stored, where our emotions are processed, and where our musical and artistic abilities lie.

Scientists have long known that female brains in general have three to four times more connections between the two hemispheres and “greater cross hemispheric – participation”[1] then do men’s brains. In other words, women are more able to think with both halves of their brains at the same time than are men; and that difference is the root of the communication problems that can arise.  

The fact that women can think with their whole brain better than men does not mean that their IQ is larger or that their brains are better. Both types of brains have strengths which can be complementary to creating the strongest possible union if they are recognized, appreciated, and respected.  The same applies to the individual’s weaknesses.

Emotions aid the formation of memories. For example, we may not remember what we had for lunch yesterday, but we can remember in detail something that terrified us twenty years ago. With their greater number of inter-hemispheric connections, it is much easier for women to be more in tune with their emotions; thus, women have a much easier time remembering both positive and negative events. In pre-marriage counseling I always told grooms-to-be about this female characteristic, “so make sure you do lots of good things for your wife because she will also remember every bad thing you do!”

Because men have fewer cross hemispheric connections, instead of thinking with their whole brain simultaneously, their focus of consciousness moves back and forth between the brain’s hemispheres. Men are wired to be able to detach from emotions which make them less likely to be distracted by emotion and a flood of memories. They find it easier to be more cool, calm and collected in a crisis, and to make purely logical decisions. Of course, men can learn to be more in tune with their emotions and women can learn to detach from their emotions and be more logical.

Paul recognized that because women have better recall of family events, they can tend to believe they are much smarter than their man and therefore they lose respect for him; so, Paul tells women to respect their husbands. And because men can generally think better in a crisis, they label women as hysterical and think they are superior to women, who should be dominated for their own good. And so, Paul instructs submission to each other and tells men to treat their wifes with the same respect they give themselves.

If these mistaken attitudes are allowed to take root for a man, the result can be at best that he ignores his wife’s feelings and makes all the decisions and choices that effect their family, and at worst he physically and psychologically abuses his wife.

When these mistaken attitudes are allowed to take root for a woman, the result is that she demeans her husband’s intelligence and verbally belittles him, and at worst she emotionally withdraws and distances herself and cuts off their sexual relationship, which usually leads to adultery and or divorce.

Paul was also aware of that scenario:

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:5 NLT)

Recently I discovered that Paul’s insights were much more than just understanding how men and women relate to each other, they are paralleled in the works of two of the most famous observers of human psychology – Sigmund Freud and Abraham Maslow!

Battling Negative Thinking

My discovery came about when I had the curious experience of getting stuck in an extremely troubling negative mind frame that I could not shake. For over an hour I found it impossible to stop thinking negative, cynical, brutal or otherwise immoral thoughts, even about God! That never ever happened to me before and it shook me. Of course, I have had occasional bad or immoral thoughts before, but they always left almost as quickly as they came, so to be unable to escape them was completely uncharacteristic for me and deeply troubling.

Anyone stuck in deep negativity would find it a depressing experience, but as a pastor I felt it acutely because there is an expectation that a pastor will always be positive, full of faith, and able to give thanks in every situation. Finally, after an hour of prayer I climbed out of the cloud of negativity. Because I was unable to control it and because it was so shocking and so terrible, I was afraid the negativity would come back, and I could be permanently stuck in it! So, I immediately tried to figure out what caused that experience. I vaguely remembered from a college psychology class that those kinds of thoughts were associated with the id in Freudian psychology.

Parallel Psychology – Apostle Paul and Freud

As I reacquainted myself with Freud’s theory of human psychology, I was shocked to discover that Freud’s theory of the three main actors in human behavior (the id, ego, and superego) are nearly perfect reflections of Paul’s understanding of the three main actors in human behavior (the sinful human nature, the mind and the influence of the Holy Spirit)!

Freud’s theory of human psychology is often portrayed in the popular image of a person with a little devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other shoulder.

• The id is the devil on the shoulder, our animal nature – the most primitive and instinctual part of the mind that contains our sexual and survival drives and hungers.

• The ego is the person’s rational thought processes that are concerned with the day-to-day operations and challenges of daily living.

• The superego is the angel on the other shoulder, our moral conscience, our consciousness of morality and consideration of what the is the good to do in a situation.

People naturally address the basic survival needs, desires and impulses of the id, and the ego keeps the negative and self- destructive impulses of the id in check.

The more concerned people have with survival needs the less they are concerned with, or able to focus on, trying to bring themselves or the world closer to the ideals put forth by the superego or the Spirit of God. This helps account for the re-election of Donald Trump: his basic appeal was entirely to the concerns of id: both healthy and unhealthy aspects of the id – fear and greed, while Kamala Harris tried to focus on the superego causes like the environment and health care for all.

The rich truly are getting richer and everyone else is feeling the pinch of higher prices and stagnant income levels. When people feel their survival is threatened, they are willing to ignore their higher angels. Polls taken after the US national election found that 74% of Trump voters felt their “way of life would be under threat” if Harris won.

In Paul’s Letter to the Romans Paul describes how easily the ego (mind) and superego (leading of the spirit) are overcome by the id: 

¹⁵ I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate…¹⁸ And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t…²² I love God’s law with all my heart. ²³ But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me…²⁵ Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So, you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. (Romans 7:15, 18, 22-23, 25 NLT)

Paul talks about himself struggling with sin here, but we all identify with him in that we recognize that we have a human nature that wants us to act in ways we know are sinful. Like Paul, in our mind and heart we know what the right thing is to do but we find the sinful impulses often win.

Fortunately, with the help of Christ he can do what is right. The sinful nature Paul describes is obviously the passions and desires of our id. The mind Paul describes is clearly the ego, which is smart enough to understand the consequences that would occur if it always gave in to the passions and desires of the id. But the pull of the id is powerful, and the mind doesn’t always win out. The Spirit offers the alternative to the id; the mind is also smart enough to realize the benefits and advantages of following the Spirit instead of the id.

Parallel Psychology – Apostle Paul and Maslow

The brilliant psychologist Abraham Maslow’s theory, entitled the Hierarchy of Needs, identifies three primary categories of animating motivations which parallel both Freud and Paul.

Our basic needs are addressed by our id, or as Paul also described it in Ephesians 4:22 our ‘old nature’ (NLT) or ‘old self’ (NIV) or ‘old man’ (KJV). Our psychological needs as Maslow described them are obviously those of the ego, and our self-actualization needs are obviously our superego. Paul tells us that the trick to following the leading of the Spirit, (i.e. functioning in the superego), is to “let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think…” (Romans 12:2 NLT). We do that of course through inviting the Holy Spirit to take residence inside us (Luke 11:13, 1 Corinthians 6:19).

Interestingly, the three words for love that were translated from the original Greek (the language that the New Testament was first written in) also correspond to the understandings of Paul, Freud and Maslow.

• Eros (also the root word for erotic) is romantic love which corresponds to the id.
• Philia or brotherly love corresponds to the ego and
• Agape or Christian love corresponds to the superego.

Conclusion

The only thing that Paul seems to have missed in describing the struggle between the flesh and the Spirit, is that all sins are rooted in normal healthy impulses which only become sins when we take them to unhealthy extremes. Take for example the so called seven deadly sins: pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony, and sloth. It is normal to feel good about your accomplishments, it is normal to want good things for yourself and your family, it is normal to get angry, it is normal to be attracted sexually, and to enjoy good tasting food and to enjoy resting. It is normal to struggle to keep these healthy impulses from moving us into the unhealthy extremes.

The good news is that when we bring the Holy Spirit inside us it is like getting an extra hand on the steering wheel, to give us the ability to keep all our impulses in the healthy range. So as Christians, our job is, as Paul demanded: “realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God” (1 Corinthians 6:19 NLT) and to do our best to be filled with the Holy Spirit as both Paul (Eph. 5:18) and Jesus (Luke 11:13) urge us to do.

More on the 7 Deadly Sins can be found by following this link:

Which of the 7 Deadly Sins do You Struggle With?

Relevant Scripture

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; (1 Corinthians 6:19)

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, (Eph. 5:18)

If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:13)

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:5)

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[1] National Institute of Health. Do women have more connections between brain hemispheres? www.ncbi.nim.nih.gov. December 2, 2013.