Forgiving God sounds blasphemous. It implies that God commits sin, practices injustice, and even has done wrong. Jesus stressed the exact opposite: God is “generous” (Matthew 20: 15) and unconditionally loving, making “his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and send [ing] rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous” (Matthew 5: 45). Evil intent and partiality are the opposite of what Jesus revealed about God.

And yet, without being consciously aware of our feelings, some of us blame God, sometimes with bold grudges against Him. We pray for good honorable and even admirable things—for the unemployed, world peace, the end of terrorism—and our prayers go unanswered. We read about natural disasters like hurricanes, tornadoes, and tsunamis that destroy lives and livelihoods and wonder why God doesn’t stop them. There is a long list of significant situations that we think God should take care of for us.  And we can become hurt or angry when He doesn’t.

Tanya, a high school friend of mine, who attended the same church as me, suffered the loss of her mother during Tanya’s first year of college.  Although my friend was absent during my last visit to her home, her brother told me that Tanya had turned her back on God because of their loss. As we went our separate ways after school, I never saw her again and always wondered if she was able to forgive and reconnect with God.

Forgiving God involves maintaining a childlike relationship and personal investment with the Divine when the ego becomes resentful, cynical, or skeptical. The heart of Judeo-Christian revelation reminds us that God is a personal, loving, and compassionate mystery. As a personal mystery, God is ardently invested in our individual lives and longs for us to experience life in abundance (see John 10: 10). God loves us unconditionally even with our sin (see Romans 5: 8). As a compassionate mystery, God is moved by our suffering and struggles (see Exodus 3: 7). But, above all, God is an ineffable, incomprehensible mystery (see Isaiah 55: 8-9). His ways are not our ways.

Meditation on Forgiving God

If you are harboring resentment or anger against God, there’s a simple prayer technique that can help you maintain a radical faith during difficult times.

1. Begin by adopting a sitting position that is comfortable and keeps you attentive. As you settle into this position, call to mind that you are in the presence of God, who is a personal, loving, and compassionate mystery. Spend ample time basking in the awareness of this all-encompassing presence right here, right now.
2. Bring your present situation to the Presence. As you do so, make a conscious effort not to analyze your difficulty, find meaning in your suffering, or answer the nagging question, “why me!” As a child of God, assume you will not understand God’s loving, compassionate designs and mysterious manner of working in the world. This step is walking with a moment of mystery and dismantles the ego’s attempt to fix, control, or understand every incident and circumstance.
3. As you sit in the presence of God with your situation, slowly inhale as you pray the word acceptance. This imitates the prayer of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. As you exhale prayer pray the word surrender. This imitates the prayer of Jesus from the cross.

The more we practice it, the more this technique challenges the ego and strengthens our resolve to accept the invitation to forgive God.

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Relevant Scripture

“But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you.Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’  (Matthew 20: 13-15)

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10: 10)

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5: 8)

The Lord said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. (Exodus 3: 7)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
    declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55: 8-9)

Reference

Becoming an Ordinary Mystic; Spirituality for the Rest of Us by Albert Haas, OFM